Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Piazza Talk

by Katie Bliven
SUNDAY EVENING I was sitting in the piazza with my good friend Romano and Dr. Bonfini. A Cagliese businessman joined us for conversation. His skills are internationally known and he is a sought after master of his craft. As a result, visitors are often drawn to him and offer their hospitality if he were to ever consider expanding his business to the United States.

Over the course of the evening, I had the pleasure of speaking with this man for nearly three hours. While he appreciates the American interest in his talent and knows that he is capable of succeeding in the United States, he explained that all this talk about expanding his business is what he considers “piazza talk.” It’s genuine in the moment, but tends to lack commitment.

In the past, he has attempted more than once to take a visitor up on his or her offer of assistance only to be disappointed with the outcome. Promises are broken because the person who appeared so eager to help was really just being polite. In Italy, these offers are extended thoughtfully and with the utmost sincerity. If a Cagliese says that you can come and spend a month in his palazzo with your family, he means it and would be thrilled should you decided to take him up on his offer.

Last night I ran into this businessman near City Hall and thanked him again for the great conversation we had the night before. He invited me to join him later that evening for more conversation at Caffe Commercio. I walked up to the Caffe after dinner and found him sitting with a large group of students. I stepped inside to order a glass of prosecco, fully intending to join the group. Instead I sat down with another local friend of mine who was enjoying a quiet drink in the window seat.

I never made it back outside to interact with the businessman and felt terrible about it as I walked home. Did he think that my request for his contact information so we could stay in touch was insincere? Did he think I was just another superficial American whose offer to assist him should he ever travel to the United States was just more piazza talk?

I found myself consumed with these thoughts as I fell asleep, uncertain whether I had offended him and concerned about how he perceived my behavior. I woke up today thinking about it still and decided that I will seek him out to apologize and make sure that he knows I am sincere. I realize though that my motivation to do that is partially selfish – I need to reduce my anxiety about the interaction and the only way to do that is to eliminate the uncertainty about how it was perceived on his side.

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